I hear your world is falling down
I hear you’ve lost who you used to be
I can’t help but boast for having known the real you
What happened to that girl who was hard to get, that girl who made every man’s jaw drop
You have become such a commoner that there is nothing exclusive about you anymore
You used to be a one in a million; you are now one of the millions
I hear fate is now making you swallow the words you once sang on me
Such gratitude I have for the heavens for their fairness
I hear you have been staining my name with the hope that we will fall in the pit of regrets together
Didn’t I tell you that I had paid my price with fate when I met you?
Didn’t I tell you that I would rather request for more pain than you than to be locked in the same room of remorse with you?
You made a wreck of my heart and you still think anything you do will destroy me any further
No pain could surpass the pain I felt when you denied me to your world
I prayed incessantly asking the heavens to give me your heart
Never did it occur to me that I was seeking for space in a home that didn’t deserve my stay
I beseeched the heavens to alter my destiny for your sake in vain
Even after seeing the bruises on my knees and the maps of tears on my face, you still paid no mind to my love
Sold my soul to the devil in the hope that Cupid might be convinced to shoot you too
Even the devil turned a blind eye to my cries
I died a million times when you made mockery of my affection
I resurrected when I realised I never really lost you as I never really had you
I emptied my fist full of tears when I learnt that wishing you worst only made me your slave
I dried my tears when I realised that you never really registered me in your heart
So heartbreaking it was but I had to understand that the heavens had to teach me a lesson through you
I hear you’ve been asking about where I have been, who I am with and if I miss you at all
Been asking people to tell me you miss me, you need me and that your life is cold without me
It now is funny to learn that all that you ever denied of me is what you currently need
So silly to see you fish for my attention
So good it feels to me how I can just close the eyes to your endeavours without working hard on it
You can never get me back; I can never even learn to pretend to want to let you in my life
You became a drug, killed me slowly and I thought life had written me off
It was only when I came to understand that your purpose in my life expired that I prayed for healing and the courage to let go
You became my heartache teacher and from you I learnt lifetime lessons, lessons meant to be learnt only once
I have become too strong and wise to fall back to your trap
I have finally removed your name which you tattooed on my soul
All that is left of you are the lessons you freely offered me with
© Sizakele Phohleli 13/10/2011