It’s been a while since I felt these feelings
The kinda feelings that make everyone conclude that I am cocky
The feelings of excitosis that make me want you more
Knowing that as hard of a cookie you are to crack you aren’t impossible to get
I get the feeling you won’t resist my trance
You won’t help but fall right in the palm of my hands as I serenade you with words that will only be understood by your soul
I’m not trying to play games with you but baby you are a challenge
You are that beautiful girl so hard to approach
I think of you and I feel nervous
I think of you even in my busiest thoughts, I think of you amongst angels for you are extraordinary
You are not heaven sent; you are heaven, you are the best portrayal of heaven
I think of you in images yet to be created
I think of you in languages only spoken by angels
I think of you in words I myself can’t even utter
I think of you in colours that don’t even exist
I’ve given you so many names as I’ve never officially met you
You are so perfect I feel I will stain you with my presence
I will come as I am, stained, damaged, wrecked and human and hope that you see beyond my imperfections
I have pictured our first encounter in my dreams and it looks as perfect as you are
I rejoice at twilight as I see my dreams slowly approaching
It is in this state of mind where visions of you are made alive
I’ve become addicted to saying things and having them matter to you in my dreams
I could have easily assured you heaven, earth, the moon and the stars
But since I’m terrible with lies and I don’t ever want to neither disappoint nor make you sad, is my heart enough for you?
Can I rather promise you a home in my soul?
As I wake in the morning, my heart sinks in pain as I can’t comprehend how you haven’t met me yet
In my dreams I seem to have lured you over, so fearful that the reality will in some way differ and I have no plan B but to offer to love you once more
I rehearse every word before the mirror training for that first conversation
But I still can’t pluck up the strength to say hi as you walk past me
You excite me so much I’m waiting for cupid to shoot you so convincing you to be mine be not such a mammoth task
I think of you and I get the chills, I get that stupid smile on my face my friends want to puke
I imagine you running to me telling me you dreamt you were mine and were wondering if I could help you realise it
That you are scared that we might not work but you would like to give us a try
Such a beautiful creature you are I know these words you’ve heard before
You get love letters everyday you find nothing new in my words
What sets my words apart is that every word was carefully picked to make you smile
Make you blush as you realise that even the one you are with has never said these words
That all my words are hitting your heart so hard you want to tell me you might possibly fall for me
I guess what I am trying to say is ‘Hello, my name is Siza, can I please have your number?’
© Sizakele Phohleli 13/10/2011