She was broken in every alphabet of broke,

Like how the glass touched the ground
And became shards of something once worthy,
Like how the rain interrupted the melodies of the sun,
Like how my heart ached for yesterday.

She was pained in every rhyme of ache,

Like how the bride never made it down the aisle,
Like how her Mother's child died at birth,
Like how the leaves fell from the tree and left her bare,
Like how she never heard from the lover who went outside to smoke.

But she was beautiful,

In every syllable of beautiful,
Like how the rain made love to the leaves,
as the they fell from the tree
and collectively they made sweet melodies with the ground,
What a beautiful collaboration.

Though wrapped in utter distress,

She remained the most beautiful girl in the horizon,
Like how the sun graced every dawn,
and the moon sang at every dusk.

Though her agony preceded her happiness,

She tirelessly knelt on the corner of her bed at every midnight hour,
Clothed in her full armour of faith,
asking the gods, if not her creator, to remember her once more.

A collab with Jowey

Jowena Qwabe:

I placed my love in your hands, watched it dance on your palms as if the future was musical and told you? My love is for keeps. I should've told you don't ever leave, that my stars would bleed without you but even if I did, you would've thought I was just being romantic, just like the day I told you, a world without you? Is my greatest fear. Panic becomes me, my heart? Skipping too many beats but not enough that could aline with the moon and sun till I eclipse into yesterday, relive it knowing it is our last day. My voice would be softer and forever would still be real enough to manipulate into more echoes, we needed more echoes.

GayKindaLove:

We needed more echoes, maybe the sound of my tears would now lead you home, sprinting to the pits of my arms like you truly heard me whisper forever, and I would swallow you in my arms, you always were a perfect fit, fitting to my very being, perhaps the drops of my loneliness would hurry you to the sight of my eyes had I spoke louder the words I should have said when you still could hear, when I still could make you listen, maybe I should have sang louder the hymns of your praises when you felt un-pretty before my eyes, maybe, maybe then, you'd come home, haunted by the echoes of my affection.

Jowena Qwabe:

You were the greatest words God ever spoke to me, now your absence feels so much like his cold shoulder, my tears go hard. I lost my words in every verse I kept reading to make me stronger, make me understand why your heart was too weak to carry on, why I should be strong enough to move on. I can barely walk; I am drunk on pain, cursing at every shooting star, shooting at my soul... You are my only wish

GayKindaLove:

So I wished upon the star in your heart to give me my 3rd second chance, to redeem myself for the umpteenth time, maybe, maybe, I am a glutton for bad decisions that leave your eyes flooded with tears, maybe I'm difficult to love that I push you away to the arms of those who would pleasure in our fall so I weep to the heavens to lead you home, just this one time, I hail to the gods to send you my way, though it may be the last time but I, but I, I stutter at the mention of your name haunted by the cracks I left in your soul.

Jowena Qwabe:

Your soul the promise I always kept close to mine, till I broke into a half completed by you. So paint me a portrait to beautify our end and tell me how the colours taint the truth if they are so true. Tell me the heavens I dug into your sunrise where nothing but lies and I will accept our end, my tears will stop where your truth begins. I will strip you naked, for her to have, rip my name from your skin because you swear you are not mine, fitting oh so perfectly into my arms, you swear you are not mine... The truth dies in my arms, on your lips and when she kisses you? I pray she does not choke on it. Because you are mine but then again, one can live on a lie... I'm fine

GayKindaLove:

Though you have abandoned the house we built, I still say I'm fine, surely I can learn to live with a broken heart, surely the heavens are preparing a home for me, surely this is the death of me but what is death to a soul already dead, what is light to a soul that feeds in all that is dark? Surely I will be fine if I not already am. When the angel of the dead comes for me, I will be resurrected to a life for the dead.

So I wished upon the star in your heart to give me my 3rd second chance, to redeem myself for the umpteenth time, maybe, maybe, I am a glutton for bad decisions that leave your eyes flooded with tears, maybe I'm difficult to love that I push you away to the arms of those who would pleasure in our fall so I weep to the heavens to lead you home, just this one time, I hail to the gods to send you my way, though it may be the last time but I, but I,  I stutter at the mention of your name haunted by the cracks I left in your soul.

We needed more echoes, maybe the sound of my tears would now lead you home, sprinting to the pits of my arms like you truly heard me whisper forever, and I would swallow you in my arms, you always were a perfect fit, fitting to my very being, perhaps the drops of my loneliness would hurry you to the sight of my eyes had I spoke louder the words I should have said when you still could hear, when I still could make you listen, maybe I should have sang louder the hymns of your praises when you felt un-pretty before my eyes, maybe, maybe then, you'd come home, haunted by the echoes of my affection.

Once upon a time

At the peak of that luminous day

The angry sun presented her discoveries to whoever dared to lend an ear

Her nemesis was to be tormented to lifelessness, she anticipated.

The sun finally uncovered the secrets of the dark, she boasted.

Fruitlessly she spoke of how the night relied on the moon to breathe

and told tales of how the stars sat next to the moon as if they were her offspring

she too desired a companion, more brighter than the stars of course

the rain always chased her away so she was no alternative

To her demise the jury failed to grasp the motive for her contest

That they showed unremitting favour to all that is brought into being at twilight

On that day she finally came to terms with the reality

that they both were created to reign on dissimilar times of the day

and that she was strong on her own, the empress of the day she was labelled

only then did she shine without jealousy

only then did she know her place in the kingdom

In the kingdom of the day she reigned

and they lived happily ever after

That beaming almost blinding light never came as they pledged

nor was the voyage any easier

the rain bowed on me even harder and undeniably angrier

this surely was a peculiar kind of a tunnel

the one they surely neglected to speak of

for they certainly knew about it

it was written all over fate's eyes

I don't really know what I fell in love with

your restorative smile or how your name sounded next to mine,

or possibly just the all the pieces of you,

the shards of your light,

or all the ashes to your fire?

perhaps I will never know

but I will assemble myself in forbearance trying to add you to I

In bits and pieces you came

Wrapped in all fabrics of doubt

Yet you asked me to mend you

They came and admired the flowers

Some kissed them while some spoke of the beauty that made them take notice

Yet nobody ever cared to honour the ground that made them bloom

What made it you?

Of all the multitudes who come flying to my sight,

those hopefuls who almost made it home,

flooding me with honey sweet promises.

What made you the one I chose?

could it be that smile that shone brighter the sun

that aura more enchanting than the moon

or was it the melody that escaped from your lips when you stuttered my name

You mysterious Seamstress

Sew me away in your heart

and over-lock me in the fabrics of your bosom

You are a god, a deity of splendour, a torrent of magnificence,

Worthy of all the reverence in the horizon, you beautiful Empress, your Excellency,

Let all humanity touch your feet in exaltation of the God that dwells in your spirit,

Let drip upon the follicles of their hair the verses of authority,

Let them bow to your commands, oh beautiful queen of Eden,

Let your lyrics of wisdom linger in their hard-stoned hearts,

Do not settle for anything short of royalty,

Lest you forget who your father is,

The Great I Am

He is

You litter my mind with unbroken musings of you. Such beautiful mess

Taking hold of me in between every breath. Perfect intruder

The sovereign of my being you are

You are the font of hope in my every scribble, the reason for my being

You see past my blues, yonder my past times. My fountain of faith

and the sun rays have made your soul yellow. The goddess of my soul

After all her attempts to save the world

She packed all her aspirations in her late grandmother's suitcase and never returned

She feared failure with all that still remained of her

It’s only when I mothered your shaking thighs

Your careless screams

Arched back

Supreme curled toes

Your bare ribs

that it hit me

that I was your addiction

at that moment

from that moment

You love me… right?

The humbling possibility that you love me more than you actually let on, that lies within your soul a home for me, that you worship every fragment of my soul in the temple of my being, that you love me so much it terrifies you beyond ashes level and that nostalgias of me successfully manage to keep you from slumber thinking about all the honey sweet mellow things you want to whisper to me when I wake from yet another nightmare, is what carries me through the rocky bumps on the road.

The probability that you fear losing me as much as I fear losing myself in the fogs of the earth makes me love you more than I care to admit, even to my little ever wavering heart.

The likelihood that you wear my love around your neck for the world and the hopeful other hers to see, is what defines how alive I will be the next day.

The life threatening possibility that I'm just fooling myself and that you'd merrily cherry-pick a life free of me, free of us and the house we built, leaving lifeless on the ground the portraits of our imaginary sons and daughters, please do keep it to yourself for my own sanity

But, but, but you do love me right?

Love & everything in between

I didn't just fall in love with your soul that effortlessly carries me through the shadows of life and lays me comfortably on the knowledge that you'll almost or rather possibly never leave me

I also fell in love with everything in between

Like how you dance for me in between those unscented sheets that haunt me every time you are away.

Like how your hands look like when you grab the pillows as I let you enter paradise.

Like how you conveniently forget to flush the toilet or collect the mess you left on the floor just to piss me off, conveniently ... for you.

Like how you sincerely always forget to close your mouth when you yawn and manage to irritate me to passing out levels.

Like how you burp and see no reason to apologize, my little pig.

Like how you somehow always forget to close the door to the loo when you take a release.

Like how you bang the car door when you are upset thinking I will forget you didn't apologize.

I fell in love with all the pieces that make you what you really are behind closed doors where only I can see you.

Amidst all my troubles lies the reality that, I'm undeniably the luckiest girl alive

To the love of my soul

 You offer me words soothing to the soul

Your skin placed on that mahogany bedstead

as you submitted to me the everlasting lessons from your lower lips

You let drip the knowledge from your life encounters unto the crown of my head

Closed shut the books you've read

Almost letting me in on all that consumes you when the lights go off

You shower me with unbroken devotion, honouring my deepest needs

But I, though content I, I yearn for the fragments of your soul you flawlessly hide

I am certain they are the reason I fell in the fountain of your bosom

She wasn't really the prettiest of all

nor did she turn anyone's head

there was no sound of thrilled whistles thrown at her when she walked past the village rebels

Even the attention of delinquents she’d bashfully accept

But not a soul ever saw past her knee length skirts and concealed bosom

but at the core of it all, at the end of her displeasure with how the world perceived her,

she knew her lover thought she was everything she'd always seen and craved for in the world

and that was just enough to keep the smile on her ever wandering eyes

she came rushing home

to tell him the news he ached for since their formation

only to find him trying his luck on an 18 year old

much more thinner and prettier than she’d offer

Perhaps he essentially wasn't ready to be a father

"I am afraid of getting older… I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day—spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free… I want, I want to think, to be omniscient. I think I would like to call myself ‘The girl who wanted to be God.’"

Sylvia Plath, (written in 1949)

We are the loose ends of something beautiful

the last drop of every rain

we were created for eternity for each other

messed up as we are

The long awaited Friday came and clouded us with promises

of the glitz and glamour the night might offer us

Only to find my neighbour's daughter dangling from the roof the following morning

Ropes don't make great jewellery at all

And new days are not always the start of something new

The blood stains in her pricy underwear still haunt her mother

We spend our Sundays

wondering if Monday will find us

worthy enough to let us bask in her tormenting light

that is always better than not being there at all

They all gather in their dark corners every other second

Mourning the loss of their companions

The eternal scars of the Marikana struggle

Like Father Like Son

Their fathers and sons hesitated not to snatch the womanhood from the sacred hands of their daughters

Yet none of them is brave enough to tell the tale of that bitter night that came with every darkness

Another meal on the table for them they were not ready to lose

Silent cries from the other room they chose to ignore

But sadly those nights are renewed with every dawn

The pillows serve as an escape to confessions they only make to themselves

For they will never look at the faces of their daughters without seeing the hands of their sons and fathers covering their developing bosoms

©GayKindaLove 2012-11-13

All I have ever wanted,

paying no mind to all my flaws,

was to be one of the poems in your poetry book

All I have ever cared to be

forget my incessant complaints,

was to be even if it's just a line in your infamous rhymes

All you ever were, ever will be,

is the ink in my every pen,

flawed as you are

I went hunting for the sun that used to shine in your eyes

even melody has left your parted lips

oh Mother Earth, restore her from the grave, the fall of my soul

My heart beats for you more than it beats for me,

the same way I implore the gods

to save you more than my own redemption.

Lover, on whose bosom will your heart lay tonight?

Admitting to missing you will
most likely worsen the solitude state of my being but again,
it would make you smile knowing you consume me just as much

Lover, I see you battling with self, wondering if you should call me.

Shove over to me all your sorrows and I will spread laughter on your lips

One day they will remember me,

they will surely call my name as if I still live.

Maybe that's when my life will really begin

As the sun sets to bring forth a new dawn
Life will resurrect with every tragedy of death

Fear not to tell them of the day

you stopped giving fucks for a living.

What a beautiful tale that should be

What good is a day if the sun won't shine?

the leaves fell beautifully from the tree

it was celestial how they collided with the ground

against the storms they danced in the rain

finding resumption of faith as they battled for life counter to the quakes of the earth

until they found meaning in your lips

Love, Poetry and Fingerprints

She was a fountain of sin

Turned the heads of the village kings
Like how the bees lusted over nectar
But her soul mate found comfort in other men

All the priests prayed for a moment with her,

The rebirth of a fallen seraph in whose bosom they minded not to fall

As they drooled from the tiny hole to the confession booth

where she sat every Sunday dawn drenched in regrets

As she made known the sins of yester night

An outburst of tales that haunt her at sleep

Little mind did they offer to her pleas

As she implored the heavens to save her

Rather they had ample time to unclothe her of all the fabrics that covered what remained of her skin
Up and down they travelled the cracks of her body,
Some were on a pursuit to see her come undone

While only one was on quest to save her broken soul

They pledged to adulate her commands
like how the stars worshiped the moon
but she needed only one man to leave his fingerprints on her shattering skin

Even the sincere one could not take the place of the love of her life

though she knew he was out of her reach

he lived beyond what she ever could be able to offer

They all came clothed in falsity

Uttering promises of eternity
Promising to mend her shattered glass of faith
Promising her serene nights
Like how the sun obliged to the authority of the darkness at nightfall
But she needed one man to serenade her ache with rhymes of poetry
What tragedy it was that the love of her life found slumber in Adam's bosom