You trampled on my heart as If you loathed me; you mocked me as if I was your enemy
You expected me to breakdown, almost lived to your expectations but something within me said PRAY, I prayed for strength to smile in the midst of the pain
I died inside as I saw you confirm that every word you ever uttered was a script of the movie ‘Cruel intentions’, I was your victim and you laughed last
Heard you laugh out loud as you thought you had me in my weakness and still I prayed
Prayed to smile once more and let you think you had conquered me
Prayed for God to forgive me for having fallen in your trap
Behold I hold zero regrets for the love I showered you with,
Loved you the best way I could, with all of me
You may have victimized me but I loved you more than you could ever love yourself
Loved you with all your imperfections, Loved the YOU in you, befriended you in situations that tore me apart yet being there for you meant self-compromise was necessary
I cry when I wake up and when I sleep as you are still the first and the last thought
I still find myself lost in our zone and I burst out in tears as I realize I never had you to begin with, that perhaps what I call ‘our zone’ was another perfectly played scene in your script of lies
Don’t remember how my life was before you; don’t remember my life before loving you
But I am willing to learn and create new memories
© Sizakele Phohleli 11/10/2011