been singing Katie Melua's Call of the search the whole day and it inspired the note bearing the very title...my version of the song is not having found the one you were destined to love hence calling off the search but it's about (fictionally) not being able or rather finding it hard to rid yourself off the one you were perhaps not destined for....read note below
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CALL OFF THE SEARCH

Came into my life from nowhere and have now left traces of your voice, scent and smile in all that I do

Never did I envisage what's now become of us that I shiver with fear upon learning that with you I lose self control

I smile when I feel your heart beat, my eyes overflowing with tears as I have no knowledge of how to fix this beautiful mess we have diligently made of ourselves

I listen to your voice cluttered with pain, all I wanna do is hold you and tell you it's gonna be alright, yet I too am not alright

I've become so selfish, wanting to dictate what needs to be done, paying no mind to the a wreck I have made of your heart

I will not splatter you with words of regrets, selfish as it sounds; joy is all that clothes me when you and I dwell in one place

I fear not to lose you yet losing you is all that's necessary to have this cleaned up

How do I then not want to touch, kiss and fuck you if it's all that I wanna do?

How do I now pretend you haven't taken me to destinations unknown?

How do I now think of you less when all I want to think about is you?

How do I convince myself to let go so you can slowly let go where I myself have my claws buried in your heart and wouldn't want it otherwise?

How do I now call of the search when I still want you to dig inside me and locate that very emotion that rejoices in your presence?

How do we call off this gathering without us being hurt?

©S Phohleli 2012-03-30